Creepers Live: My Elevated Stalking Situation

Setting: My place of work. I work in a deli as a cook/baker etc. It is a nice job with good pay and flexible hours so I can do my ceramics mumbo jumbo on the side. I have worked there for a few years, since the store itself opened. I am very pretty in real life, but luckily this job allows me to hide in a giant white coat and stuff my hair under a hat so not a lot of lady hungry dudes can tell that there is a gorgeous unicorn slaving away doing manly man things like chopping up stinky fresh caught fish.

Since opening day, a man we will refer to as ‘Peeping Tom’ has come in multiple times during my shifts every single day to creep on me. Here are some of things he does:

1. Leers at me creepily from behind the salad bar.

2. Asks me creepy questions like where I live, what my last name is, if I have ‘relations’ with other workers, and if I think he is cute, or if he can send me presents or take me on scary trips to Nebraska.

3. Makes creepy unwarranted comments like ‘Nobody loves me!’ ‘I got punched in the face by a woman!’

4. Stands behind large indoor plants out of my view and eaves drops on my conversations with other workers and then asks me about it later. (SO IS THAT NISSAN YOURS?!)

5. Bought a matching car to mine. I can’t tell if he did this so I would notice or if he just didn’t want to be able to drive around when it blizzards anymore.

6. HAS SURVIVED 3 YEARS LIVING IN A FUCKING NURSING HOME. Honestly, who doesn’t just give up and die in the first 6 months? The average nursing home stay is something like 168 days. I wonder other things like… why does someone who still drives and walks around without looking like an awkward bird choose to live in a nursing home?

7. Has called the store multiple times pretending to be my dad or grandpa. Asks other co workers about me.

8. Waltzes behind the deli counter (And other employees only ares) like he fucking owns the place and claims he can because he has a tattoo of jesus.

9. Watches me through the window when I’m not looking/pretending not to notice.

10. Everything else.

So. Do I have a case? Apparently not. According to managers and police alike, I can’t really do anything until he ‘crosses the line’ like show up at my dwelling, because making me feel unsafe at my place of work and walking to and from work isn’t crossing far enough across this god forsaken line. Even when multiple customers point out that they think the sweet girl who gives them all their stupid gluten free muffins is being stalked, the line is still apparently uncrossed.

My boyfriend says he can hang out and punch him in the face, but I don’t want my boyfriend going to jail for punching an old man in the face.

The sad part is that only about one third of the people I talk to about this can pick up on the severity of the situation. And unfortunately only about 5 people in this large group of people that I ramble to are dudes. Most of the dudes I tell don’t think it’s an issue because they do creeping of their own. CREEPING IS NOT OKAY AND IT IS NOT THE WAY INTO A GIRLS HEART AND/OR VAGINA.

Let me repeat myself:

CREEPING IS NOT OKAY AND IT IS NOT THE WAY INTO A GIRLS HEART AND/OR VAGINA.

What the fuck am I going to do. WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO.

Business Adventures: Episode 1: Starting Out

It may or may not be known, but I recently graduated with a degree in Public Education with a minor in Studio Art. I already had a job when I graduated (Natural foods sales, customer coddling) so it was a good place to be when I realized I’d rather get molested by an elephant’s dirty old wrinkled trunk than set foot in the highly corrupted Minnesota Public School system ever again. (Not to mention get paid in peanuts and then use those peanuts to buy all my education materials for a classroom packed with 30 neglected children. No thank you.)

I ventured out with the other half of my degree in hand and am slowly but surely building my own business. What kind of business? CERAMICS. Here are the first few things I have thought to consider during this process.

1. Standing out from the other ceramic artists. How do I do that? By not throwing housewares on the wheel! That’s how. After being exposed to many an art show and many a ceramic artist, I realized that about 85% of these artists are all making bowls and cups and mugs and jugs. How many bows and cups and mugs and jugs does this word need? Better yet, how many 25$ mugs do people need? Do these people not realize that you can wander into some weird company promotional event and walk out with free mugs and cups galore? I’ll stick with hand building thank you. Besides, what seems to be more reasonable: A $25 mug or a 25$ sculpture? I’m going to go with the sculpture. People don’t fall in love with mugs, they fall in love with ‘art’.

2. Promotion. Although it is widely believed that today, more than ever the internet is our top promoter for all things that exist, LOCATION is also key. Living in the Twin Cities (my home town!) is going to be far more beneficial than if I had wandered north to work in solitude. A. I already have a job here. B. The more people around the area, the more potential customers you have. Not to mention all the piddly diddly craft shows I could enter. If I lived in the middle of the woods I’d probably waste all my profit driving back and forth from rural craft shows.

3. Funding. I can’t be stupid and quit my day job. My day job is what funds this. Along the line, maybe I will be able to. But until then I can’t go all ‘Dreams come true!’ attitude on everyone. I have to accept that this will be a mountain. It will be hard. It might even suck. But working a regular hourly job while doing ceramics on the side is much better than being a teacher who constantly gets shit on everyday for practically the same wage. (Probably less, I’m guessing.)

Was my education degree a waste of time? Perhaps, considering my grades were 90% straight A’s and anything less (A-) was because I just didn’t feel like proving myself with bullshit jr. high level reading worksheets. College is a waste. Don’t go unless your dream REQUIRES a degree. Would I be where I am now without mine? Probably, and I would have some extra thousands of dollars laying around to boot.

I recently got a request for my first custom ceramic order. Its a biggie and can run into the the 3 digit price range. Updates to come. Pray for me so that I don’t fuck this up, and I can later rub it in some doubtful faces.